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Open Houses This Weekend – Bathroom Edition!

By August 27, 2010


Here are a few of the 136 open houses in Seattle this weekend:

1028 Lakeview Blvd E #1

Sunday, August 29, 2010 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Now that is a lovely bathroom. That is a bathroom with style, a bathroom with elegance and sophistication. And that bathroom is only $266 per square foot, making it one of the cheapest bathrooms you will find on Capitol Hill. The surrounding condo has a nice view and a long hardwood floor in the kitchen for all your Risky Business reenactment needs.

2720 3rd Ave Unit 900-901

Sunday, August 29, 2010 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM
And that is a shitty bathroom. Horizontally striped drawers, vertically striped organizers, and a gaudy curlicue mirror. Seriously? And who actually likes those toilets with the button on top that always takes a hundred pounds of force to push down? That white grouting is going to get stained with hair dye and mud, and the fluorescent light is just tacky. This bathroom is also the single most expensive bathroom on display this weekend. It will run you $679 per square foot. Did I mention that the condo also writes in first person? I can’t make this stuff up.

1238 Alki Ave SW #402

Sunday, August 29, 2010 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Kudos on the fantastic modern art in this beachfront bathroom. That piece is perfect for pondering in a long hot bubble bath. Ten points off for the cheapest-thing-I-could-find-at-IKEA cabinets though. The condo is listed at $575,000, which seems quite reasonable for an absolutely goddamn gorgeous protected view of Elliott Bay.

2911 Second Ave #714

Sunday, August 29, 2010 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM
What an unexpectedly vintage hipster bathroom design for an otherwise modern studio. I’m glad they stuck with silver accents. With the browns and the animal print, this bathroom is getting dangerously close to Hugh Hefner territory. Gold accents would have pushed it across the border. I like the design of the place overall, but I don’t think it counts as a “space needle view” if you’re so close that you can only see the bottom.

1740 Melrose Ave #202

Saturday, August 28, 2010 2:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Finally, we have the ultimate narcissist’s bathroom. For just $260,000, you can watch your beautiful self shower every morning. The listing says that the unit is “super clean and tight.” I would hope that it’s super clean. How is it tight, though? Does that mean it’s small? Does it mean that the decor fits together tightly? Or is it, in the manner of Hemingway, tight in that it’s blind stinking drunk? The world may never know.